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2nd Omiai~~~Jul 11, 2024

So, I went on my second omiai! Honestly, I watched a lot of Japanese dramas that involved marriage hunting and omiais, but I never thought I would ever be involved in one, especially as a foreigner whose Japanese is not good at all. This whole experience is so interesting to me. 

There are many agencies out there, but from my understanding, they all use one marriage database. I think? So, whenever someone sends me an omiai application request and I agree to go on the omiai, my counselor and their counselor (from a different agency, most likely) will email each other back and forth to see what day would be best for both parties.

When doing your own research for a company, don't let the extremely high-priced agencies fool you. For instance, an agency may tell you (if you're a woman) that they have different tiers that you can sign up for:

**Platinum** - They might tell you they will "introduce" you to the "elite" with the 3 H's (high income, high education, high height). Lawyers, doctors, bankers, CEOs, but the price will be around 600,000 yen plus a hefty monthly fee.

**Gold** - They might tell you they will "introduce" you to men who may not have the most elite jobs (IT, teachers, etc.), but they make at least 10 million yen annually. You might have to pay 500,000 yen for this plus a monthly fee.

**Silver** - These will be men who have decent jobs and make maybe around 7 million yen and up but don't necessarily have the 3 H's, maybe only 2 or 1 of the H's. You might pay 400,000 yen plus a monthly fee.

The reason this is a scam is because once you're officially signed up and they "introduce" you to, let's say, a doctor, even if you want to go on an omiai, HE still has to approve the date. So if none of the elites are interested in going on an omiai with you, you spent all that money for nothing!

 ( ・д・)

After you sign up with any agency, you can view the profiles of the other members in the marriage database on your own, and if you like someone, you can send a date request, or they can send one. Literally, you don't need your agent to introduce you to anyone. Not saying you don't need your agent at all. They are actually extremely essential to your marriage hunting. I'll explain that in a different post.

I personally will never send an omiai request because I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea. So, I figured I would let the men who are interested in me come to me instead. Very traditional, I know, but that's just how I was raised. Because trust me, if a man is interested, he will send the omiai request. It's like when people say, "If a man wanted to, he would." This is so true. Especially as someone who was blessed to date a few men who were truly obsessed with me, I can clearly distinguish a man who is lukewarm about me or using me as a placeholder from a man who would take a bullet for me without hesitation. 

I see marriages all the time where the man is lukewarm about his wife, and instead of making her life easier, he makes it harder. This is a sign of a man who doesn't really like his wife. So marriage isn't the goal; it's a husband who will love and adore me all the days of my life. A husband who loves me like Jesus loved the church. Considering I'm talking about my parents' marriage, I don't think that's too much to expect for myself. My dad retired my mother, allowed her to live a soft life, and my mother was his number one cheerleader. All the kids respect their union. I would rather live happily single than in a stressful marriage where my spouse is just my roommate or, even worse, a stranger.

So, let me quickly explain what happened in my last omiai. This omiai was also online because this particular gentleman lived deep in Chiba, and because of his job, it was hard for him to come to Minato-ku. I personally didn't like having another online omiai, but I agreed for the experience. This man was a pharmacist, and he actually spoke a little English. It wasn't very good, but as soon as he found me struggling with my Japanese, he did his best to speak to me in English. We got along really well, but when the subject of kids came up, he mentioned how he had a daughter who lived with his wife, and I had my daughter, so that should be enough for us. Because it was a Zoom call, I could clearly see my own reaction, and my face visibly fell. I had already written him off when he said that, but I think he sensed it because his tune changed. He mentioned how if we "happened to have" one more child, that would be fine, and he kept explaining himself. At that point, I was still checked out, but I remained polite and finished the date. At the end of the date, he said how his heart felt warm while talking to me, which I thought was so sweet, but our wants were too different. For me, I actually want at least two more children, so I knew it wouldn't work out. I told my counselor the next day that he was a very kind man, and we got along well, but I didn't want to move forward because I wanted two more children.

My next date is next weekend, and we will be meeting at a famous luxury hotel lounge for afternoon tea. I know this man speaks English because of his job, but we will see what happens. I was a bit hesitant to accept this omiai, and I'll explain why later.

I need to go now, but I'm definitely going to give an update next weekend!

It's been so hot lately, so please keep cool!